dating after marriage

On a recent golf date, Luis and I were paired up with a couple of distinguished golfers (older gents). After a little bit of small talk, they asked how long we have been married and the next question took us a bit by surprise …. 'What is the secret to a successful marriage'? Luis and I both gave one another a surprised, possibly blank stare - not for sure who should go first or maybe not sure what to say. Is there one magical thing to a successful marriage?

We don't really have all the answers, but a marriage counselor once shared with us something that has stuck with us for almost 20 years now. She gave us the concept of the 'bathtub curve' with a 'happiness curve' intermingled. I call it the Marriage Happiness Curve!

An Interpretation of the Life Cycle of Happiness within a Marriage

I hesitate to say that there are not blissful marriages out there, but I have seen many that resemble ours in some way. The counselor had suggested that most marriages fail when couples sweep the little things under the rug and they blow up at the bottom of the curve when things get rough.

The bottom of the curve is not a good place to be! But we are firm believers that no matter what stage of life we were in, there is one thing that was inherently consistent. We had DATE Nights several times a month as long as we can remember. In fact, dancing has always been the central focus of those date nights for us.

We all know that Communication is paramount, but the quality of that communication is more important. Have you heard of the expression 'Fighting Fair'? Of course, we all have. But fighting with respect is much less damaging and repairable. 

Never giving up is easier said than done! I have always been a believer that to be married a LIFETIME (you know 40-60+ years) there will be times of miscommunications, anger, frustration not to mention one sided heavy lifting! Whoever said marriage was 50/50 was an idiot! Sometimes it is 110/0!

Cyberspace is full of information regarding anger causing life altering health issues, why stay mad and cause yourself harm?

When times were really tough the thought of Protecting our assets comes to mind. You lose half your stuff with divorce! It seemed logical to us to work harder on our marriage than work hard to regain the lost assets.

Therefore, at the end of the day, its Date night!